Communication takes many forms and
affects every aspect of our lives.
Interpersonal communication is the interaction of two individuals. Active listening, personal constructs
and relationship development are key elements in interpersonal communication.
Group communication takes on different dimensions than interpersonal
communication. Individual traits
combine to create a group and we can learn about ourselves from how we
assimilate in a group.
Organizational communication is communication within organizations. This is generally work related, but
applies to any organization.
Understanding how to be effective in interpersonal, group, and
organizational communication is part of my journey to self-actualization.
Interpersonal Communications
Interpersonal
communications is a term used to describe informal conversation between two
people, in person (Trenholm, 2011).
This can be between friends, family members, coworkers, lovers, or any
other time two people get together to talk. This is a kind of communication at which I excel. I have had a great deal of training and
experience to master interpersonal communications and my gifts in this area
inspired me to carve out a path for myself in communications as educational and
career goals.
The
key skill for successful interpersonal communications is the art of active
listening. In my early twenties I
was fortunate to attend a Stephen R. Covey training called The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People provided by my employer. In this training, active listening was emphasized as one of
the habits highly successful people employ and I have made it a point to
develop this habit ever since.
When I listen to a person speak, I don’t think about what I am going to
say next; instead, I really listen to what they are saying. I ask questions based specifically on
the other person’s dialogue and I validate their words by paraphrasing what
they have said.
Active
listening is helpful in all relationships, from a new acquaintance to a spouse
of many years. For successful
interpersonal communication active listening strengthens any relationship
because people like to be heard.
In my experience, people love to talk about themselves, even the shy
ones. Because of this fact, when a
person feels that you are present with them and really paying attention to
everything being said that person will feel a kinship with the person
listening. This is part of why
psychologists can charge money for their services. People want to feel heard so much that they are willing to
pay money just to have an hour where they can talk about their feelings,
problems, and anything else that comes to mind.
Not
only do I listen to people in a way that makes them feel important, I truly
care to hear what they have to say.
Maybe this is because I am really curious about people. I love people watching and imagining
what the story is, so when someone is willing to share their story, I willingly
listen.
Listening
skills are just one factor in interpersonal communication. I can’t just sit and listen, I also
have to share. I’ve always been
very good at speaking my mind and the older I get the better I get at doing
just that. Diplomacy is critical
in one-on-one interaction. If I
want to offer constructive criticism I do so in a way that makes the listener
feel that I’m telling them this because I care, and I usually do care otherwise
I wouldn’t even bother. I like to
look for the most positive traits in the person I’m communicating with and
compliment them throughout the course of our interaction. Sometimes people change their whole
demeanor in a positive way because of a compliment (Chavi, 2009).
Opening
up about my own personal life is another factor in interpersonal
communication. The key is to share
the right amount based on the person I am talking to. I don’t want to bore, unload on, or scare someone I am having
a conversation with so I have to monitor what I share and with whom. I also pay attention to how long I
“have the floor” before passing it back to the other person. The one downfall I know of in my
interpersonal communication is my tendency to use big words. I am not trying to be a know it all;
this is just the way I speak. To
some I may come off as pretentious and I have such a hard time toning it
down. My parents were both teachers
and they constantly encouraged me to read and find any other method of
self-education at my disposal. An
entire childhood spent in advanced classes, and a family of scholars created a
vocabulary that actually intimidates people. My son is only nine and he sounds like a little grown
up when he talks. My husband’s
cousin remarked that he looks just like his dad and talks just like his
mom. I do not believe in talking
down to children so I always talk to them as though I would peers, in words not
necessarily content. I love
children because they ask me to clarify if they don’t understand what a word
means, grown ups just tend to glaze over and tune me out if I get too
academic. This is something I am
working on; I am trying to remember my audience when I talk.
Communication
is a multi-faceted concept that affects every aspect of our lives. Professional, personal, public, and
private, communication is a key element in every situation. My personal motivation for studying
communication is as multidimensional as the topic itself. My personal and professional life will
benefit in numerous ways, as will the lives of those I communicate with. Defining communication proposes a
challenge because there are opposing viewpoints and perspectives to consider.
My
motivation for studying communication is that communication affects every
single aspect of my life. Every
sphere of life relies on some form of communication. We must use it in every interaction and
non-interaction. By studying
communication I will be more effective as a human being and people around me
will benefit from my communication as well as from the example I set. Good communication skills are
contagious. People pick up on
positive communication as well as negative from those around them. If I practice communicating well, I am
improving my quality of life and the quality of my interactions.
My
values vary based on the individual and I find almost zero consistency in
constructs I use to describe people.
When making a list of similarities and differences among people I know, I
found very little uniformity to my answers. My constructs are based on the individual I perceive. I tend to rely on stereotypes, but not
so much to classify people as to understand them better; and I do use different
constructs to describe men than women.
Although I recognize flaws in my personal constructs, I am very
insightful when it comes to reading and assessing others. I hold myself to a much higher standard
than I hold others to, not because I think I’m better and capable of more than
everybody else, rather because I hold my expectations very high and I do not
feel it is fair in assessing others; I do this to myself, I won’t do it to
others. In creating my personal
constructs list I was surprised by the one recurring theme and surprised by
other elements as well.
Constructs
can actually have a huge positive or negative impact on the way I communicate with
others. Personal constructs are
shallow and limited when a person is shallow and limited in their perceptions;
to have a rich and complex perspective one must develop a deeper personal
understanding and an open mind to the vast richness humanity has to offer.
Every
individual has a unique inner core.
To classify and categorize is to completely ignore that unique inner
spark. There is, however, a place
for stereotypes in learning about people.
Defending stereotypes is completely against my personal beliefs, but
stereotypes are based on truth at some level. If I can mentally catalogue what an individual is projecting
on the world based on outer appearance I can glean a deeper understanding of
what is happening inside of the person to inspire to project that image. The reason a person personifies a
stereotype is key in knowing how to communicate with him or her.
I
allow gender to have a huge impact on the way I perceive people. I know my gender issues are not always
fair, but this assessment is also based on a lifetime of gender
observations. Women have been
stigmatized as inferior throughout the history of society (Nuttman-Schwartz,
2007). This inferior stigma
pervades communication between the sexes and impacts my perception in
male-female communication.
Personal
constructs I use affect my dealings with others, but my constructs are based on
actual observations of the person and not on stereotypes that I refer to for
understanding. One example of a
personal construct I use is whether or not I think somebody’s parenting skills
are compatible with my own, or if somebody likes to spend their time the same
way I do. My constructs also tend
to gravitate toward food a lot and the other people’s relationships with
food. It’s just not enjoyable to
go out to eat with someone who picks at a lettuce leaf while I eat a large
plate of pasta. If somebody is
from another culture, I love to learn about their food and their eating
habits. I think a lot can be learned
about a person based on their menu.
Food is just one of the many ways people from differing backgrounds can
find common ground.
Humans
have so many individual constructs within themselves and finding a way to
bridge the gap between everyone will enrich our experiences.
When
meeting a stranger I self-disclose only basic, superficial, conversational
pleasantries. However, I am very curious about people, maybe even a
little nosey, so I'm a good listener and ask open-ended questions that
encourage communication without being invasive. When I get to know a
person, and find a connection, then I self-disclose what is necessary to keep
the friendship budding. When a friendship is more intimate I share a
great deal because I've established trust. I only disclose to people who would actually want to know
about me. I don't like to emotionally overwhelm people who don't have a
deep interest in me. My self-disclosing habits have dramatically changed
throughout my life. My current
approach has developed from experiencing positive and negative results.
My
relationship with my husband taught me a lot about the relationship development
model. We were married very young and grew up in vastly different
cultures. We experienced Trenholm’s whole relationship cycle, minus termination
(Trenholm, 2011). After communicating through our dysfunctional patterns
we strengthened our relationship.
I
have witnessed several relationships break apart because of a failure to
resolve dialectical tensions (Trenholm, 2011), including my parents. My
parents provided a wonderful example of mistakes to avoid. How we fight dramatically affects the quality
of our relationships (Bernstein, 2010).
Tone of voice, words chosen, and body language impact the quality of
interaction.
Group Communications
I
used to belong to a training group that required group consensus for all
decisions. Managing communication
between 13 individuals so that each person’s needs are met is a tricky
process. Our teacher passed the
facilitation to me during decision-making discussions because my skills in this
area are very good. My tactic in
managing group consensus discussions is to direct an equal amount of my energy
to each person. When all feedback
is presented the group needs guidance to process and agree upon each idea.
Because
I am outgoing and confident, people feel comfortable allowing me to take the
lead. I am physically attractive,
by my culture’s standards, and I am intelligent. I am also a pragmatist and can usually direct the energy of
a group by observing and using behavioral patterns. The traits I embody usually place me in the role of
leader; however, I support the lead well when in a subordinate role. I frequently play the role of
peacekeeper because people look to me for guidance overcoming conflict.
The
people that are close to me are dear to my heart. I care for the groups I work with socially and
professionally. I put a lot of
energy and care into my groups so I tend to be territorial. I show this by directly addressing any
change, positive or negative. I
always find out what is going on with everyone and follow up frequently.
I
have a large personal space bubble.
I have a loud voice and am animated with my body language; consequently
I need a lot of room. I also feel
anxious when people hover close to me or get too close to my face. However, with my husband and children I
have no bubble at all.
The
most important group I belong to is my family. My relationship with my family taught me the most about
communication. I am very open with
my oldest son. I speak to him the
way I would speak with a peer because he deserves intelligent interaction. I talk to the baby as though I expect
him to understand every word because I think this helps him learn language
faster. My husband and I always
present a united front with the children and share everything with each
other. When conflict arises I fall
into my role as peacekeeper.
Organizational Communications
Interpersonal
communication skills and group communication skills benefit organizational
communication. Professionalism,
responsibility, sincerity, and concise communication are also helpful (Marques,
2010). Organizational
communication differs from less formal types of communication and although I am
well versed in successful organizational communication I have issues with
hierarchical rules. Organizational
communication does require acknowledgement of proper channels and upward and
downward flow of information (Trenholm, 2011).
To
be successful in organizational communication it is important to be aware of
personal attributes, work content skills, and technological skills. My personal attributes are strong communication
skills, ability to work well within groups and alone, leadership skills,
organization, attention to detail, and presenting skills.
In
conclusion, communication is crucial in all aspects of life. Interpersonal communication is
one-on-one communication. Group communication is how we communicate within our
groups and the roles we play.
Organizational communication is communication within organizations such
as work. Understanding how to be
effective in interpersonal, group, and organizational communication is part of
my journey to self-actualization.
References
Elizabeth
Bernstein. (2010, July 27). Bonds / On Relationships: Fighting
Happily Ever After --- There's a Right Way To Argue and It Can Be Good for Relationships. Wall
Street Journal (Eastern
Edition), p. D.1. Retrieved September 6, 2010, from ABI/INFORM
Global. (Document ID: 2092133821).
Chavi, C.. (2009, December 2).
FREE-DOME: The Power of Words. Call & Post (All-ohio Edition), p. C.5.
Retrieved September 6, 2010, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document
ID: 1928722561).
Joan
F. Marques. (2010). Enhancing the quality of organizational
communication :A presentation of reflection-based criteria. Journal
of Communication Management, 14(1), 47-58. Retrieved September 21, 2010,
from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1956404111).
Nuttman-Shwartz, O.. (2007).
Myths of Women and Their Reflection in a Therapy Group. Clinical Social
Work Journal, 35(4), 237-244. Retrieved September 6, 2010,
from Research Library. (Document ID: 1376373921).
Trenholm,
S. (2011). Thinking Through Communication: An introduction to the study of
human communication (6th Ed.).
United States of America: Allyn & Bacon.
