Monday, April 16, 2012

Effective Communications


Identify how you can use the communications process to ensure effective communications.
            Awareness of the various parts of communication increases effectiveness as a communicator (Roebuck, 2010).  Listening is the most important part of being a good communicator (Roebuck, 2010).  My son’s karate teacher always tells the children that we have two ears and only one mouth so that we should listen twice as much as we speak (personal conversation).  The sender of a message has a responsibility to be clear and specific in their message, as well as use appropriate tone and body language so that the receiver understand not only the words, but the intent and attitude (Roebuck, 2010).  The receiver must be careful to avoid distraction from external and internal noise that may distort the intended message (Roebuck, 2010).  Inferences are something an effective communicator needs to be careful to avoid as well, stick to the actual meaning, not the inferred meaning when interpreting communications (Roebuck, 2010).

What technologies are currently used to enhance the effectiveness of communications today?
            E-mail is the primary communication method for most businesses today (Roebuck, 2010).  E-mail is so important that most business would not be able to function for more than a week without it, some would not even last a day (Roebuck, 2010).  Cell phones are another important tool for business communications and blur the lines between work life balance because employees can be reached at any time of the day, especially when employers pay the bill (Roebuck, 2010).  Other tools include PDA’s, smartphones, instant messangers, text messaging, pagers, facsimile, audio- and video conferencing, telecommuting, Internet, and Intranet.  Facsimile has adapted to advancing technologies and can be used with e-mail and online platforms to remain useful (Roebuck, 2010).

What causes miscommunications?
            Miscommunications are caused by word-meaning confusion, different perceptions, external and internal noise, and receivers not listening (Roebuck, 2010).  External noise is noise in the surrounding environment; internal noise is caused by internal factors such as a closed mind, not liking the sender, disinterest, or thinking about something other than listening to the message (Roebuck, 2010).  In my personal life I see this most often in communication with my children (all boys), and my husband.  We have an ongoing “joke” that they only hear every third word.

Roebuck, D. (2010). Improving Business Communication Skills for Ashford University (4th Ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Prentice Hall.

To Accept or Reject a Client



            The decision to accept or reject a client is not always easy.  Some clients are simple because no controversy or conflict of interest is involved.  However, sometimes a client presents something of an ethical dilemma or some kind of controversy, which makes representing them difficult.  Money is a very powerful sway for some people, but money does not buy a person’s conscience and ethical convictions.  If a client came to me with an ethically questionable case I would analyze the case from a utilitarian perspective, with an existential twist.  The case presented here is a well-known ball player accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.  This is not the first time a ball player is accused of using performance-enhancing drugs, so a comparison on past athletes is helpful in making my decision. 
            The situation presented to me is that the athlete is still under investigation and he and his agent would like some positive publicity to build his reputation.  The athlete may be exonerated, but he may be formally charged with permanent damage to his career and image.  The athlete’s agent intimated that he did indeed ingest a substance, but did not know what it was.  The fact that the athlete is admitting to taking a substance is what I find most troubling.  I personally do not believe that a person would just take something without full knowledge of what it is, especially not someone who makes their living and entire lifestyle revolves around personal fitness.  The implication of this information has a huge impact on my decision.

            On a global scale, performance enhancement drugs have been less of an issue than recreational drugs such as cocaine.  However, Adrian Mutu and Jaap Stam and Abel Xavier were called down for performance enhancing drugs.  All three players were fined and had to serve a ban from playing soccer in the European circuits (Walsh & Forsyth, 2005).  While these performance enhancing drug usage accounts affected the European scene, I believe these should be taken into account for US audiences.  My personal sense of ethics does not allow me to represent drug users, regardless of money or career advancement.
            The ethics of the situation, as I see them, are representing an athlete who used performance-enhancing drugs.  The athlete claims to not have been aware of using any steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, but he did knowingly and willingly ingest something, although he claims he did not know what it was.  This athlete would like me to paint a positive picture for the mass public in order to enhance his positive side.  I personally believe that he would not have taken something without knowledge of what he ingested. 
            I recommend against taking this client.  The client admitted taking something to his agent, while claiming he did not know what he took.  As I previously stated, I do not believe a professional athlete would agree to take a substance without knowledge of what the substance was.  If I am wrong, and he was truly unaware, it shows a great deal of irresponsibility in his behavior.  This lack of honesty or lack of responsibility will affect the client relationship in a negative way.  I do not trust that this potential client will represent himself in an ethical or honorable way, which will have a negative impact on my relationship with the client.  The PRSA’s code of ethics requires honesty (Cameron, Wilcox, Reber, & Shin, 2008).  I do not trust the potential client’s honesty, because of this I again, recommend against representing this client.

            The potential client is questionable when it comes to honesty, the number one value of the PRSA (Cameron, Wilcox, Reber, & Shin, 2008).  The client willfully ingested some sort of substance that he claims he did not know what.  This shows either dishonesty of lack of keen decision-making.  I do believe that painting a positive spin on the athlete’s character for the general public and media may reflect negatively on the public relations agency I belong to.  I understand the ethics of the situation and the situation as I understand it is not going to benefit my agency or me.  In conclusion, I refer to the PRSA’s code of ethics.  If I represent this client, regardless of what it will do for my career or my financial wellbeing, it will lower my personal credibility and is not worth the challenge.  For the sake of the athlete, I hope he will be exonerated, but I do not believe he will be nor do I want my career or agency associated with him.


References
Cameron, G. T., Wilcox, D. L., Reber, B. H., & Shin, J. (2008). Public relations today: Managing competition and conflict. Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc.
David Walsh and Paul Forsyth.  (2005, November 6). Xavier 'positive for steroid' :[Final 1 Edition]. Sunday Times,p. 1.  Retrieved November 14, 2011, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 928226091).

Virtual Worlds as a Means to Promote Intercultural Communications


          Intercultural communication is a challenge due to several seemingly uncontrollable factors, but the Internet has provided the human race with a means to open doorways between otherwise disconnected cultures.  Communication between cultures is made difficult by the way we look, the way we speak, and the way we communicate by nonverbal communications such as proxemics, kinesics, chronemics, and paralanguage.  However, humans have developed new technologies that when introduced to other cultures bridge the gap between cultures to a certain extent.  Social networking sites and online role playing games create a world where people can rise above preconceived notions about who or what they should be.  Despite the positive aspects of global social networking, this medium will not solve all of the problems facing intercultural communication and understanding.  Eventually we must emerge from our artificial characters from virtual worlds and face our actual identities in the mundane world. 

            The United States and the Islamic world have been at odds for many years.  Joshua Fouts and Rita King decided to study an online, virtual world called “A Second Life” to witness the impact that this virtual world has on communication with Islamic culture (Fouts & King, 2009).  Rather than control the process through inviting specific people, but rather by seeing what was already unfolding within this second virtual world, running parallel to our own (Fouts & King, 2009).  In online virtual worlds people create avatars, which are the cyber representations used to interact in the world or game (Levine, 2007).  When creating an avatar a person can become anything they want to be.  Most avatars are very similar to the physical characteristics of the actual person, only much better looking (Levine, 2007).  Some even choose to create avatars that do not resemble the user in any way (Levine, 2007).  Within these virtual worlds, while using an avatar, people are able to open up without fear of physical harm and where imperfections can easily be hidden (Fouts & King, 2009). 

            People in the real world are challenged with barriers caused by language, as well as nonverbal communication.  Proxemics, also known as personal space; kinesics, which means physical movements, facial expressions, and how we make eye contact; chronemics, the way cultures use and follow time; and paralanguage, the verbal sounds we make to accentuate our speech, these nonverbal gestures are all impacted in face to face intercultural interactions (Jandt, 2010).  In an online virtual world, with created avatars to represent individuals, many of the barriers to intercultural communications, such as visual appearance and nuance of speech, are eliminated.  A four foot, eighty-five year old, German grandmother can be a sumo wrestler and nobody would know.  This opens doors to communication, but not without limitations. 

            The people living second identities in a second life, or any other online social network, are using alter egos instead of their true identity.  An alter ego works for Superman and Batman because they are not real people.  Real people have a real character and that character may not reflect the same values and norms that their pretend character represents.  I would like to take this opportunity to emphasize the fact that avatars are pretend and not real.  In a pretend identity a person may behave entirely different than in real life.  So the assumed cyber identity may even develop a tolerance that the real person, outside of the virtual world does not actually embrace.  If we can pretend to be something we are not, then we can pretend to behave in ways that we do not.  These are still pretend, much like little girls dressing up like princesses and then going outside to make mud pies, it is the mud pies I wonder about.  Another serious drawback I see in virtual identities in pretend worlds is the temptation to get lost in them.  Much like a junkie looking for the next fix, some people might become hopelessly addicted to their false persona and never leave the virtual to return to the real world.  For online virtual worlds to have a positive effect on intercultural communication there needs to be honesty between avatars.
            Virtual worlds will and do affect intercultural communication.  Some of these influences are incredibly positive and door opening between cultures.  Unfortunately, not all living in a virtual world has a positive impact on intercultural communication.  The Internet has provided our global culture with a means to expand communication beyond our usual barriers. Social networking sites and online role playing games create a world where people can rise above preconceived notions about who or what they should be.


References
Fouts, J.S. and King, R.J. (2009). Understanding Islam through Virtual Worlds (2008-2009). Carnegie Council: The Voice of Ethics in International Affairs. Retrieved June 6, 2011 from http://www.carnegiecouncil.org/programs/archive/002/index.html#.
Jandt, F.E. (2010). An Introduction to Intercultural Communication: Identities in a global community (6th Ed.). Thousand Oaks: Sage.
Levine, K. (2007). Alter egos in a virtual world – NPR. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12263532

My Organizational Strategy for Choosing a Computer


          
          In the process of looking for a new laptop computer I have to admit I have a large degree of bias in what I want in a computer.  First of all, I do not want to deal with any viruses and I do not want to have to worry about virus software because it is one more headache to worry about.  This first category is built in virus protection, or rather, virus immunity.  There is only one brand of laptop computer that can claim virus immunity, which limits my shopping preferences considerably.  Another classification, beyond the security from viruses, is size for portability.  I prefer a laptop that is 13”-15” because smaller, more lightweight laptops work better for my current busy lifestyle.  I also need a computer with reasonable space and the ability to connect an external hard drive because I want to back up all my files; there is nothing worse than having a hard drive crash the night a paper is due.  Finally, I want photo software that enables me to create albums, fancy editing, and easy usability. 

            Based on my security classification the brand of computer becomes a necessary issue, so I have narrowed down my computer needs to three laptops, the MacBook, the MacBook Air, or the MacBook Pro.  I also satisfy my photo needs with these three computers because I like the usability of iPhoto.  All three of these computers are available in lightweight and compact models.  And the ability to back up files to an external hard drive is easy to use with Mac’s time machine software and iDisk.
            In partitioning the laptop computers under analysis, I would look at the storage available with the computer’s factory settings, without the help of an external hard drive.  An Intel Core 2 Duo Processor is also an important feature for capabilities.  I want to be able to load CD’s and DVD’s directly into the device with the ability to burn movies, music, and software.  Although I know that Mac laptops tend to run higher in price than some other brands, affordability is still an important feature.  Based on these characteristics I can narrow my computer search to one specific laptop with relative ease.  The MacBook Air has no storage space and no built in CD/DVD ROM so that fact eliminates one of my three choices.  Between the MacBook Pro and the MacBook my needs are met, but the pricepoint on the MacBook is considerably lower than the MacBook Pro.  The MacBook Pro has more capabilities than the MacBook, but the MacBook suits all of my needs and the cost is much more reasonable.  So in shopping for a laptop, after categorizing and partitioning the laptops I have researched, the MacBook is the best choice based on my needs.

            Writing about my process in selecting a laptop computer I have learned that my paper writing practice throughout the process of my education actually has real life application.  I have to admit, I have been writing all these papers thinking only of my GPA and finishing school.  I always thought the content of the class was the important part and the papers a nuisance to prove I am learning.  The truth is, these endless papers are actually preparing me for whatever career I pursue.  Maybe this seems like a ridiculously simple realization, however this is actually quite a significant epiphany for my educational process and me.

References

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Humor and Persuasion



            Humor has always worked for me when I attempt to persuade others.  I have often used this tool when tension arises or my viewpoint dramatically clashes with another point of view that is important to me.  Humor, particularly irony and self-effacement, have been found effective in persuasive communication.  Using humor in persuasion is a risk, but well worth the risk when humor is effective in swaying an audience to a specific point of view.   Expectancy violations theory is affected by strategically misaligned humor, distracting from the message itself and instead focusing on the humor; the risk use of humor is that the message might be misconstrued if it differs too much from what is expected.  Mere exposure to a message delivered humorously can affect persuasion, such as a sign or billboard individuals pass as they drive to work each day.  Humor creates cognitive dissonance, affecting attitudes or beliefs through laughter.  Humor is an effective tool in persuasion.  Humor aligns with some basic persuasive theories and impacts message receivers.

            The effectiveness of humor in persuasion has very little empirical research to give credence, however correlations have been found with the use of irony and persuasion (Lyttle, 2001).  Irony distracts the message receiver by creating a necessity for dual processing of the message, preventing a negative voice in the message receiver’s head because the brain is distracted by processing the message and the irony (Lyttle, 2001).   Humor that is self-effacing is also effective because it actually gives credibility to the persuader who is willing to be the butt of the message joke (Lyttle, 2001). 
            Expectancy violations theories assume people expect certain behavior, or rather, normal behavior (Seiter & Gass, 2004).  When individuals act differently than their prescribed roles dictate, then message receivers are surprised (Seiter & Gass, 2004).  Sometimes expectancy violations provide the persuader an edge in with the audience being persuaded.  A man speaking out for women’s issues or a cattle farmer arguing for vegans are two examples of expectancy violations.  The receivers of expectancy violations are distracted and pay attention to the person sending the message instead of focusing on the message itself (Seiter & Gass, 2004).  Humor, in an expectancy violations approach, distracts the audience into appreciating the message, a message that makes them laugh.  Laughing with the persuader, the audience then feels compelled to internalize the message. 

            Mere exposure theory is a theory that people are persuaded simply by repeat exposure (Seiter & Gass, 2004).  Driving on the freeway I see the same humorous billboard every day.  The billboard has a funny message that makes me laugh so I repeat the joke to my husband or some friends.  The joke becomes a regular part of our conversations when something funny comes up that relates.  I may not have agreed with the original message, but because the joke was funny the message started to sink in and before I am even aware of it, an attitude change has occurred and now I agree with the message because of the funny joke.  Nobody had to persuade me, I just repeatedly drove past the same funny billboard on the freeway everyday.  By mere exposure to the message, delivered in a humorous way, I am persuaded along with all the friends I shared the joke with.  Humor is truly a brilliant way to persuade with mere exposure to a message. 
            Print advertising is a mere exposure message delivery system where humor aids persuasion (Cline & Kellaris, 1999).  Consumers hold a preference for brands that use humor in their print advertisements (Cline & Kellaris).  However, a strong argument does not need humor and may actually be more persuasive without humor (Cline & Kellaris, 1999).  This is another example of when humor is risky.
            Cognitive Dissonance Theory is a theory that states people feel dissonance if their attitudes, theories, or beliefs are not in alignment (Seiter & Gass, 2004).   Individuals will strive to make internal adjustments and find harmony with their internal discord when they are out of alignment (Seiter & Gass, 2004).  A message that a receiver finds to be humorous may actually stimulate cognitive dissonance.  I imagine a really funny comedian starts a humorous political attack on a candidate I voted for or support.  Through humor this comedian makes me laugh about a behavior or decision my favored politician made.  I may have been in denial or blind to the faulty behavior or decision-making process until the comedian opens my mind through humor.  This is a hypothetical situation, but I can actually think of specific times this has actually happened to me. 
            Humor is something I rely on personally in persuasion and I have experienced persuasion by others who have made me laugh.  Irony and self-effacement have been found effective persuasive tools.  While some risks are involved with using humor, careful application or humor outweighs the risks.  Several theories of persuasion such as expectancy violations theory, mere exposure theory, and cognitive dissonance theory can be looked at from a humorist perspective. Expectancy violations theory is risky if the receiver of the message rejects the humor, but humor can be found in the unexpected.  Mere exposures to humor in print ads and billboards have a persuasive impact from repeat exposure and something to laugh about.   Humor can create cognitive dissonance triggering a reevaluation of beliefs, attitudes or values.  Humor is an effective tool in persuasion.


References
Cline, Thomas W, & Kellaris, James J. (1999). The joint impact of humor and argument strength in a print advertising context: A case for weaker arguments. Psychology & Marketing, 16(1), 69.  Retrieved March 15, 2011, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 37875581).
Lyttle, J.  (2001). The effectiveness of humor in persuasion: The case of business ethics training. The Journal of General Psychology, 128(2), 206-16.  Retrieved March 15, 2011, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 77223102).
Seiter, John E., and Gass, Robert H. (2004), Perspectives on Persuasion, Social Influence, and Compliance Gaining, Boston, Massachusetts: Pearson Education.

Ethics in Business


         Values and ethics may not always seem to hold a big place in business organizations, but this is a very important topic with potential to largely influence the work environment.  Value congruence is an important factor for me in a positive work environment, if I don’t have this, my behavior and work output suffer.  Given ethical dilemmas in the workplace, I feel confident in my own ability to make ethical decisions, so I focus on my internal ethical radar before that of the organization.  I rely on my personal ethics meter because I know that organizations may not always represent what I deem ethical and often organizations are guilty of abuse of ethics.  I analyze the culture of the organization and use social judgment, but return to my internal locus of control because that way I know I can sleep at night.  We all face difficult ethical dilemmas at certain points in our lives and careers.  Given choices in ethical dilemmas I first evaluate what I believe in, then I determine the organizational philosophy, then I find the best way to incorporate both of these.  The ethics of an organization are only as strong as the individuals within that organization and I do not believe that people always behave in the most ethical fashion or represent the organization’s philosophy. 
            As a human resources representative I have faced decisions on hiring people for my organization where ethical concerns come into play.  As a hypothetical example, Shockley-Zalabak presents a scenario in which the president of the company does not want a woman on his personal staff (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  According to the scenario presented, as the personnel director it is my job to screen applicants for promotions to management positions and the top three applicants are all women (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  
Feminist values are a large part of my personal value system and discrimination based on gender is a topic that upsets me from an ethical point of view in a general sense, and infuriates me from a personal perspective.  I personally know I have been passed over for opportunities in my career and educational past even as far back as elementary school.  Because this is an issue that has affected me personally, when faced with a decision where the best people may not be considered for a management position simply because they are women I cannot support this type of behavior.  Value congruence is the amount individual values concur with the organizational values (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  If the president of the company does not want women on his personal staff because they are women, this is a sexist position and interferes with my personal values.  I also think discrimination based on gender is unethical; discrimination in any form is unethical.  Faced with this hypothetical situation I would ignore the president’s sexist preferences and send the three top applicants to him.  The three top applicants are women and the president will likely not be pleased, may even confront me on my impertinence.  I feel strongly enough that I would be willing to sacrifice my new position as personnel director to make sure hiring practices are non-discriminating and that the top applicants are given consideration for their performance and qualifications regardless of their gender.  I would not confront the president or behave in any way that is not befitting my position, but I would stand my ground if questioned about my choices and show validation for the fact that the applicants presented were the most qualified for the position.  He may reject all three and force me to continue the search, and I would continue to choose applicants based on merit, not gender.  

            Personal loyalty to a friend or loyalty to upper management within my organization presents another hypothetical situation described by Shockley-Zalabak (2009).  In this hypothetical situation I’ve overheard my manager and the manager of the department my best friend works for and their conversation is unfavorable in regards to my best friend (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  According to the scenario my best friend wants a promotion very much, but she will not be chosen due to the fact that her manager is not pleased with her performance (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  My best friend is also considering a job offer from another group (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  I assume that my friend may not accept the offer from another group because she wants the promotion so badly and the question is what I will do with the information I am presented with.  Social judgment is our value of the feelings of others and our personal generalized assumptions about the why of people’s work (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009).  My friend’s feelings are the most important to me in this scenario because I am personally invested in the relationship and the two managers have no idea I overheard them.  I do not feel that eavesdropping is ethical, but in this situation I believe the eavesdropping was accidental and my new knowledge is not known to anyone else.  
          What do I do?  This is not a simple decision for me and largely depends on how much I trust my friend and how I feel she will react.  I do not want her hurt and I do not want her to get me into trouble if I try to help her.  I do not feel that the two managers gossiping about employees is entirely ethical, but I also recognize they are human and need to discuss things, maybe even look to each other for advice and support.  My concern for others is largely social and I am concerned about the feelings of my friend as well as that of my manager, but ultimately my friend will win in regards to my personal values.  I would talk to my friend, outside of work and preferably when she has the entire weekend to ponder her own choices.  I would certainly not tell her the exact words her manager used because that might hurt her feelings.  I would explain that I overheard our managers and that if it ever got back to anyone that I told her I would probably be in a great deal of trouble, or at least a great deal of embarrassment.  
          If she truly is my best friend she will recognize the need to protect my position.  After talking to her about what I overheard in the gentlest way possible, I would talk up the position in the other group, pointing out the things about her current group she may have complained to me about in the past.  Hopefully this would remind her that she may indeed be much happier in the new group.  Also, if her manager is not happy with her performance it may indicate that deep down she is really not happy in her position and her group and that change will be good for her.  I would not recommend that she confront her boss or ever let on that she knew about his displeasure because that could possibly burn bridges.  If he is not pleased with her, moving to a new group may be a win-win for both of them.  This value decision aligns with a basic rule between female best friends and I would not feel in any way that I made the wrong choice even if I feel bad about hearing information I should not have been privy to.

            Within business organizations values and ethics are not black and white.  The way the organization approaches ethics and the way the individuals within the organization approach ethics will have a large impact on the work environment.  Hopefully the value congruence between the individuals and the organization will be strong and the work environment will be a positive place.  However, when faced with an ethical dilemma, I have a great deal of self-confidence in my own ethical values.  This may be because I have a high self-esteem and my internal locus of control points me in the right direction.  At some point everyone will face a difficult decision in regards to ethics in the workplace, but recognizing personal philosophy in relation to organizational philosophy will make such decisions easier to make. The ethics of an organization are only as strong as the individuals within that organization and I do not believe that people always behave in the most ethical fashion or represent the organization’s philosophy.
        

        
References
Shockley-Zalabak, Pamela S. (2009.). Fundamentals of organizational communication knowledge, sensitivity, skills, values (7th ed.). Boston: Pearson Education.

My Understanding of Communication


          Communication takes many forms and affects every aspect of our lives.  Interpersonal communication is the interaction of two individuals.  Active listening, personal constructs and relationship development are key elements in interpersonal communication. Group communication takes on different dimensions than interpersonal communication.  Individual traits combine to create a group and we can learn about ourselves from how we assimilate in a group.  Organizational communication is communication within organizations.  This is generally work related, but applies to any organization.  Understanding how to be effective in interpersonal, group, and organizational communication is part of my journey to self-actualization.
Interpersonal Communications
            Interpersonal communications is a term used to describe informal conversation between two people, in person (Trenholm, 2011).  This can be between friends, family members, coworkers, lovers, or any other time two people get together to talk.  This is a kind of communication at which I excel.  I have had a great deal of training and experience to master interpersonal communications and my gifts in this area inspired me to carve out a path for myself in communications as educational and career goals. 

            The key skill for successful interpersonal communications is the art of active listening.  In my early twenties I was fortunate to attend a Stephen R. Covey training called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People provided by my employer.  In this training, active listening was emphasized as one of the habits highly successful people employ and I have made it a point to develop this habit ever since.  When I listen to a person speak, I don’t think about what I am going to say next; instead, I really listen to what they are saying.  I ask questions based specifically on the other person’s dialogue and I validate their words by paraphrasing what they have said.             
            Active listening is helpful in all relationships, from a new acquaintance to a spouse of many years.  For successful interpersonal communication active listening strengthens any relationship because people like to be heard.  In my experience, people love to talk about themselves, even the shy ones.  Because of this fact, when a person feels that you are present with them and really paying attention to everything being said that person will feel a kinship with the person listening.  This is part of why psychologists can charge money for their services.  People want to feel heard so much that they are willing to pay money just to have an hour where they can talk about their feelings, problems, and anything else that comes to mind. 

            Not only do I listen to people in a way that makes them feel important, I truly care to hear what they have to say.  Maybe this is because I am really curious about people.  I love people watching and imagining what the story is, so when someone is willing to share their story, I willingly listen.

            Listening skills are just one factor in interpersonal communication.  I can’t just sit and listen, I also have to share.  I’ve always been very good at speaking my mind and the older I get the better I get at doing just that.  Diplomacy is critical in one-on-one interaction.  If I want to offer constructive criticism I do so in a way that makes the listener feel that I’m telling them this because I care, and I usually do care otherwise I wouldn’t even bother.  I like to look for the most positive traits in the person I’m communicating with and compliment them throughout the course of our interaction.  Sometimes people change their whole demeanor in a positive way because of a compliment (Chavi, 2009). 

            Opening up about my own personal life is another factor in interpersonal communication.  The key is to share the right amount based on the person I am talking to.  I don’t want to bore, unload on, or scare someone I am having a conversation with so I have to monitor what I share and with whom.  I also pay attention to how long I “have the floor” before passing it back to the other person.  The one downfall I know of in my interpersonal communication is my tendency to use big words.  I am not trying to be a know it all; this is just the way I speak.  To some I may come off as pretentious and I have such a hard time toning it down.  My parents were both teachers and they constantly encouraged me to read and find any other method of self-education at my disposal.  An entire childhood spent in advanced classes, and a family of scholars created a vocabulary that actually intimidates people.  My son is only nine and he sounds like a little grown up when he talks.  My husband’s cousin remarked that he looks just like his dad and talks just like his mom.  I do not believe in talking down to children so I always talk to them as though I would peers, in words not necessarily content.  I love children because they ask me to clarify if they don’t understand what a word means, grown ups just tend to glaze over and tune me out if I get too academic.  This is something I am working on; I am trying to remember my audience when I talk. 
            Communication is a multi-faceted concept that affects every aspect of our lives.  Professional, personal, public, and private, communication is a key element in every situation.  My personal motivation for studying communication is as multidimensional as the topic itself.  My personal and professional life will benefit in numerous ways, as will the lives of those I communicate with.  Defining communication proposes a challenge because there are opposing viewpoints and perspectives to consider.
            My motivation for studying communication is that communication affects every single aspect of my life.  Every sphere of life relies on some form of communication.  We must use it in every interaction and non-interaction.  By studying communication I will be more effective as a human being and people around me will benefit from my communication as well as from the example I set.  Good communication skills are contagious.  People pick up on positive communication as well as negative from those around them.  If I practice communicating well, I am improving my quality of life and the quality of my interactions.
            My values vary based on the individual and I find almost zero consistency in constructs I use to describe people.  When making a list of similarities and differences among people I know, I found very little uniformity to my answers.  My constructs are based on the individual I perceive.  I tend to rely on stereotypes, but not so much to classify people as to understand them better; and I do use different constructs to describe men than women.  Although I recognize flaws in my personal constructs, I am very insightful when it comes to reading and assessing others.  I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold others to, not because I think I’m better and capable of more than everybody else, rather because I hold my expectations very high and I do not feel it is fair in assessing others; I do this to myself, I won’t do it to others.  In creating my personal constructs list I was surprised by the one recurring theme and surprised by other elements as well. 
           
           Constructs can actually have a huge positive or negative impact on the way I communicate with others.  Personal constructs are shallow and limited when a person is shallow and limited in their perceptions; to have a rich and complex perspective one must develop a deeper personal understanding and an open mind to the vast richness humanity has to offer.
            Every individual has a unique inner core.  To classify and categorize is to completely ignore that unique inner spark.  There is, however, a place for stereotypes in learning about people.  Defending stereotypes is completely against my personal beliefs, but stereotypes are based on truth at some level.  If I can mentally catalogue what an individual is projecting on the world based on outer appearance I can glean a deeper understanding of what is happening inside of the person to inspire to project that image.  The reason a person personifies a stereotype is key in knowing how to communicate with him or her. 

            I allow gender to have a huge impact on the way I perceive people.  I know my gender issues are not always fair, but this assessment is also based on a lifetime of gender observations.  Women have been stigmatized as inferior throughout the history of society (Nuttman-Schwartz, 2007).  This inferior stigma pervades communication between the sexes and impacts my perception in male-female communication.
            Personal constructs I use affect my dealings with others, but my constructs are based on actual observations of the person and not on stereotypes that I refer to for understanding.  One example of a personal construct I use is whether or not I think somebody’s parenting skills are compatible with my own, or if somebody likes to spend their time the same way I do.  My constructs also tend to gravitate toward food a lot and the other people’s relationships with food.  It’s just not enjoyable to go out to eat with someone who picks at a lettuce leaf while I eat a large plate of pasta.  If somebody is from another culture, I love to learn about their food and their eating habits.  I think a lot can be learned about a person based on their menu.  Food is just one of the many ways people from differing backgrounds can find common ground. 
            Humans have so many individual constructs within themselves and finding a way to bridge the gap between everyone will enrich our experiences.
            When meeting a stranger I self-disclose only basic, superficial, conversational pleasantries.  However, I am very curious about people, maybe even a little nosey, so I'm a good listener and ask open-ended questions that encourage communication without being invasive.  When I get to know a person, and find a connection, then I self-disclose what is necessary to keep the friendship budding.  When a friendship is more intimate I share a great deal because I've established trust.  I only disclose to people who would actually want to know about me.  I don't like to emotionally overwhelm people who don't have a deep interest in me.  My self-disclosing habits have dramatically changed throughout my life.  My current approach has developed from experiencing positive and negative results. 
            My relationship with my husband taught me a lot about the relationship development model.  We were married very young and grew up in vastly different cultures. We experienced Trenholm’s whole relationship cycle, minus termination (Trenholm, 2011).  After communicating through our dysfunctional patterns we strengthened our relationship. 

            I have witnessed several relationships break apart because of a failure to resolve dialectical tensions (Trenholm, 2011), including my parents.  My parents provided a wonderful example of mistakes to avoid.  How we fight dramatically affects the quality of our relationships (Bernstein, 2010).  Tone of voice, words chosen, and body language impact the quality of interaction.
Group Communications
            I used to belong to a training group that required group consensus for all decisions.  Managing communication between 13 individuals so that each person’s needs are met is a tricky process.  Our teacher passed the facilitation to me during decision-making discussions because my skills in this area are very good.  My tactic in managing group consensus discussions is to direct an equal amount of my energy to each person.  When all feedback is presented the group needs guidance to process and agree upon each idea. 
            Because I am outgoing and confident, people feel comfortable allowing me to take the lead.  I am physically attractive, by my culture’s standards, and I am intelligent.  I am also a pragmatist and can usually direct the energy of a group by observing and using behavioral patterns.   The traits I embody usually place me in the role of leader; however, I support the lead well when in a subordinate role.  I frequently play the role of peacekeeper because people look to me for guidance overcoming conflict. 

            The people that are close to me are dear to my heart.  I care for the groups I work with socially and professionally.  I put a lot of energy and care into my groups so I tend to be territorial.  I show this by directly addressing any change, positive or negative.  I always find out what is going on with everyone and follow up frequently.  
            I have a large personal space bubble.  I have a loud voice and am animated with my body language; consequently I need a lot of room.  I also feel anxious when people hover close to me or get too close to my face.  However, with my husband and children I have no bubble at all. 
            The most important group I belong to is my family.  My relationship with my family taught me the most about communication.  I am very open with my oldest son.  I speak to him the way I would speak with a peer because he deserves intelligent interaction.  I talk to the baby as though I expect him to understand every word because I think this helps him learn language faster.  My husband and I always present a united front with the children and share everything with each other.  When conflict arises I fall into my role as peacekeeper.

Organizational Communications
            Interpersonal communication skills and group communication skills benefit organizational communication.  Professionalism, responsibility, sincerity, and concise communication are also helpful (Marques, 2010).  Organizational communication differs from less formal types of communication and although I am well versed in successful organizational communication I have issues with hierarchical rules.  Organizational communication does require acknowledgement of proper channels and upward and downward flow of information (Trenholm, 2011). 
            To be successful in organizational communication it is important to be aware of personal attributes, work content skills, and technological skills.  My personal attributes are strong communication skills, ability to work well within groups and alone, leadership skills, organization, attention to detail, and presenting skills. 
            In conclusion, communication is crucial in all aspects of life.  Interpersonal communication is one-on-one communication. Group communication is how we communicate within our groups and the roles we play.  Organizational communication is communication within organizations such as work.  Understanding how to be effective in interpersonal, group, and organizational communication is part of my journey to self-actualization.

           


References
Elizabeth Bernstein.  (2010, July 27). Bonds / On Relationships: Fighting Happily Ever After --- There's a Right Way To Argue and It Can Be Good for Relationships. Wall Street Journal  (Eastern Edition),  p. D.1.  Retrieved September 6, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 2092133821).
Chavi, C.. (2009, December 2). FREE-DOME: The Power of Words. Call & Post  (All-ohio Edition),  p. C.5.  Retrieved September 6, 2010, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 1928722561).
Joan F. Marques.  (2010). Enhancing the quality of organizational communication :A presentation of reflection-based criteria. Journal of Communication Management, 14(1), 47-58.  Retrieved September 21, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1956404111).
Nuttman-Shwartz, O.. (2007). Myths of Women and Their Reflection in a Therapy Group. Clinical Social Work Journal, 35(4), 237-244.  Retrieved September 6, 2010, from Research Library. (Document ID: 1376373921).
Trenholm, S. (2011). Thinking Through Communication: An introduction to the study of human communication (6th Ed.). United States of America: Allyn & Bacon.